My high school years were crazy. Although God was there on every step of my way, continuously teaching and revealing Him self to me, I never actually met him half way. I never really tried to get to know Him for myself. After a lot of struggle, insecurity, bitterness, emptiness and confusion, high school was over. With that, the time came for me to decide what I was going to study and who I was going to become. As puzzled and lost as I was, I knew that the only way to find my answer was to go to God.
My biggest fear in life always came, like most others, when I thought of the future. Who I am going to become? Will I have an impact on the world? Will I make the right decisions? Am I going to marry the right person? Am I going to be a good mother? And the biggest of all, am I going to be happy?
I was faced with two big dilemmas. After graduation, either go to Adama University and further my studies there or apply to Yared Music School. Everyone was against me going to Yared. Although they knew how passionate I was about it, they believed that music was an extra skill that I could do at any point in my life, that there was no money or real career in it. That was a lot of pressure. And I knew that if I took my own way and some how manage to fail, I would have to face all the “I told you so”.
I knew that no matter how I plan my life, God’s plan was always going to out run mine. So then, at that crucial moment in my life, I decided to give time to pray and read the Bible. I started to learn about the power of focus, focusing on God. I realized that everything else, all my worries and problems did not matter. First and fore most comes God and my relationship with him. When I fixed my eyes on Him, everything just started to fall into place. With my issues still around, I felt unbelievable peace and joy inside me. I started to know God personally. I started to let go and let Him.
The first thing He taught me was to forgive, to let go of everything, every scar and every hate. God completely renewed me. I started to see Him in a totally different way. Everything might have been going wrong but my relationship with Him was going right, and that was all that mattered.
This one night I slept over at my sister’s house and my brother-in-law was talking to me about my university plans. Right then, I gave up the fight for going to Yared. But at the same time, I wondered why God was making this hard on me, why couldn’t He just tell me what He wanted me to do? I knew that He put this passion in me on purpose and I do have that deep desire to pursue it professionally. But that thought of doubt crept into me. What if I was wrong?
What if it doesn’t matter what I do or learn? The whole point of my whole life was not my purpose but He. So that night I decided to throw away my desires and listen to everybody else. I gladly arranged everything to go to Adama. I was at peace because I had wholly believed that God was my number one priority, not my school or future.
That morning, God spoke to me. He needed to know that I put him first before my future, He told me that I was going to go to Yared and He would be with me every step of the way. I went and applied. To be honest, I did not think I was qualified enough to get in. But knowing that He was with me, I did it with full confidence and boldness. To everyone’s surprise, I got in with flying colors, ranking third. When the time came for choosing majors, I got everything I had asked for and that story goes on for a year.
We have a father that never ever fails us. He stays faithful and loyal through our ups and downs. He never lets us down. I know that I am in music school not because I am good enough but because of His love. It amazes me to see that he calls the weakest, the failed, the non-deserving, unworthy and equips them. He doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called. So how dare we say we’re not good enough?
Get to know God, make him your best friend and He will reveal the glory that is in you and the purpose He has for you. With God, life is always better, and He will take you higher.